Let Go and Leave
by ILoveYouDear
Summary: A Depressing Story of Two Lovers struggling from the hurdles of life. But this time, things got WAY worse when Amu realized Tadase...
1. A Heart Of Confusion and Love

I want the Science of Independence.

I want Privacy,

All my life, I felt as if he followed me like a dark shadow.

Like a bodyguard, like a best friend.

Why can't he leave me alone?

Oh, doesn't he even know I ache from this throbbing pain?

But this pain is too hard to handle, too hard to take.

He watches me day and night and haunts me in my sleep.

Now, my dreams aren't even sweet.

It changed. My world altered.

Like it cannot look down at me the correct way round.

The idea of attending school today made it even worse. Who wants to suffer a life filled with staring people?

But in the sea of the staring public, one teenaged boy shined brightly in the crowd. He was looking at me with an innocent expression in his ugly face. After that intense moment, he smiled.

I know. I know that a smile is more than a smile. It could represent guilt or the slightest thought of hatred or even perhaps, love.

My face never returned that expression. I didn't want to and I have an explanation.

This boy, he injured me. The soreness cannot be healed by either comfort, or medicine. My heart was shattered into millions of pieces and after so long, I've only found parts of it.

I cannot grip onto this reality anymore, his unforgettable and unforgivable face in front of mine. I started to shake frantically and soon, my feet lost it's will to work.

My body was on the ground.

My eyes look up at the people staring at me and I realized he was still staring straight into my eyes. It was so annoying, it makes me angry. No, I was Furious.

"Disappear!" I screamed at him. A torrent of tears runs down my cheeks. I didn't have breath for anymore screaming and shouting.

I gasp for oxygen. I discover nothing but another innocence pretense on his face.

"I won't go away, Amu" he said softly. To be honest, his voice was tremendously beautiful. It was a voice that would glide relaxingly in the breeze in mid spring. But this was a mistake, a terrible mistake.

Does he know the amount of times I fell for him? I fell into a hole of feelings but I always pulled myself up to the surface again. Now, I've been through too much and I just want to give this up.

After I have totally calmed down, he reached out a hand in front of my chest.

Here we go again, Tadase Kun.

Or should I say "We are not going again?"

My black eyes stare into his dark ones.

"I'm sorry, Amu" he said quietly but evenly without hesitation, as if he memorized all this from lines.

What should I do? He let me down many times and this time I remember catching him kiss another girl. I thought… He was the perfect one for me since we are both so similar, so innocent, so in love…

I didn't take his hand and got up by my own strength. I could even inhale and exhale without him, so it wouldn't be impossible for me to stand up lacking the pretense of Tadase.

"You're not sorry, Tadase" I sneer softly "How many times did you let me down?"

He halfheartedly closed his mouth because he wanted to battle my words, but he waited for me to go on.

"And who was that girl you kissed last Monday?" my eyes widen "Do I know her? Is she prettier than me? What is her name?"

"Amu Chan, I'm Sorry" Hotori Kun embarrassingly bowed down. He had nothing much to say.

At that instant, he coughed. It didn't seem like a usual cold you get. But it was very odd.

Suddenly, pair of warm hands anxiously reaches my cheeks. It felt fine, but my hatred to him succeeds.

"What do you think you are doing?" I glare at him "Stop touching me!" I swiftly slap him dead hard on the face.

He coughed wildly again. This lightened up my consciousness.

"Tadase, are you alright?" I ask blankly but horror was added to my voice.

"Hinamori San…" He ended his sentence to cough more. "Please"

I wait for him to spit more of those confessions out.

"I cannot stay alive without your love, Amu" he came closer to touch my finger "Because…. I believe my life is very limited… "

"What do you mean?" I said, slightly anxiously.

"…I just realized… that I am suffering from lung cancer" he coughed again.

I felt awful.

Him… Lung cancer?

My heart skipped a beat. But I didn't find myself blubber, just yet.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"Because… I didn't have the guts to tell you. I was scared it was going to make you… you know…"

"Silly boy… you are nothing but a silly boy!" I hit him in the shoulders hardly. He didn't shield himself from my painful attacks. I was definitely crying now.

"Don't cry… I'm happy that you actually care about me" he smiled as his moved his face extremely close to mine. It wasn't that ugly face I mentioned earlier… But it reminded me of beauty and kindness.

He took my face, looked at it and then placed his lips on mine. I never experienced such great things, but now, everything was ideal.

"Be mine" he whispered into my ears.

I nodded.

He kissed me again. It was a very beautiful kiss, but what I found unusual was that he won't let go of my lips. My lips left his and I slowly tap him on the shoulders to realize he was not awake.

In great speed, his back fell to the cold floor. At that moment I just realized we were in the middle of a playground at school. I screamed.

"Tadase Kun!" My knees landed on the floor first "Tadase!"

"Amu Chan…." he said quietly with his eyes half open "Thank you for loving me" he smiled.

I smiled, but the smile faded away soon. Suddenly, around a dozen of adults came rushing towards us. They were here for him, not me.

The school nurse quickly got her medical tools and immediately checked his body conditions.

"Extremely high blood pressure, Temperature, 39 and is breathing in an unsteady rate!" the nurse explained to the crowd, which included teachers and I. "He needs to go to the hospital!"

"I've already called the ambulance" One kind teacher said. I could tell that she was very nervous like I was.

"Good. You should return to class, girl" the nurse looked up at me but my eyes never left his stone cold face. I reluctantly and slowly drifted myself away, but my eyes let me down.

"Please get back to your lesson" a teacher said calmly as she turned her attention from Tadase to me "You will be late if you don't get a move on!"

"I c-can't!" I yelped as I realized hot tears were filling my eyes and the whole world seemed very blurry.

She looked at me, and then did something I did not expect.

The teacher scribbled something on a sheet of scrap paper. "Take this to your next lesson and show this to your teacher. You may go home after that"

"W-what about Tadase?" my fingers tremble as I point my fingers at him, who was currently being put on an emergency bed.

"He'll be fine, don't worry" the teacher was confident "I'll be with you and we'll await the news together, what is your name?

"Amu. Hinamori Amu" I whispered.

Afterwards, I slowly made my way into the classroom with that teacher's note in my shaking hands. When I was at the door, I knocked it several times until the teacher, Mr. Kuyjou responded.

"Um… I-I have a note for you" I walked towards him handed the note with both vibrating hands.

"Very well, Hinamori Amu" he looked at me with such disappointed eyes. To say the truth, well, I was one of his favorite students "You should rest. See you next time"

"Thanks"

I made the run back the stairs into the playground where I last saw Tadase's body. But by the time I got there, I saw nothing but an empty basketball pitch.

"No!" I yelled at nothing as if I were completely insane. "Where did they bring him?"

"The hospital" I felt a pair of warm hands fall securely on my shoulders. "I suggest you go home for today, Amu Chan"

I turned around and realized this person was the teacher that talked to me before.

"But…"

"It'll be alright. Have faith in him, and he would live for you. Just tell yourself that this is just a challenge that Tadase Kun must face"

"But he said that his life was very limited…" I fought.

The teacher hesitated but I struggle a tiny smile out of me.

And I believe that tomorrow would be a new day. It will be a different day.

The next day:

I did not sleep the whole of last night, though I didn't feel a tiny bit better.

"Amu Chan?" It was my mother at the door. "Why were you so silent?"

"I wasn't silent" I said very firmly as I know my words were lies as well.

"And why weren't you joining us for dinner last night?" she made a trick question.

"Mom, I wasn't hungry!" I shouted deafeningly. "Leave me alone"

But my mother didn't leave me alone. What she did was walk in my room and inspected me.

"Oh, good lord!" she practically smacked her mouth after looking at my disastrous face "Were you crying?"

Of course I was crying. I bite my lip to stop more desperate tears escaping my eyes. I felt my cheeks burn.

"What happened?" she sounded very worried "Been bullied by your classmates? Lost your boyfriend? Got a bad grade?"

I don't answer because I was in a level of extreme irritation that I could throw a heavy hard back book at my mother. So I decided to escape my bedroom and walk towards the bathroom to get ready for school.

But sadly, my mother tightly grabbed hold of my shoulders.

"Hinamori Amu, I am talking to you!" she screamed at me for my disobedience "How dare you ignore me!"

"Yeah, I'm ignoring you, Mom" I said softly "Because you're being nothing but a bossy cow that doesn't even know how I feel!"

My mother didn't know what to say and I violently push off her hands and made my way towards the bathroom.

The huge mirror in the bathroom showed every single detail of my face very clearly. I wasn't that pretty and cheerful girl anymore, but a confused girl who might lose someone you half hated and half loved. I could see the black smudges from my eye liner, red marks on the areas near my lips, symbolizing that my lip gloss was also smudged.

"You look like a mess, dear" was a clear voice as it approached the bathroom. It was my father. To tell you, I love him much more than my mother.

"Oh, yeah" I sighed but I say no more.

"Hope you feel better. I'm leaving now for a trip to Japan, see you on Monday"

I slowly nod as I turn on the tap to give my unclean face a little wash…

Around 20 minutes later, my mother made me a portion of breakfast. We ate silently but I couldn't stop thinking about yesterday and there were many times when my eyes were flooded with salty tears.

"Ok?" my mother didn't even look me in the eyes "You Ok?"

"I don't know"

After that, I got my stuff and left the house with a loud bang.

"Bye. Amu Chan. I'm sorry" it was the fading voice of my mother as she watched me leave from a window.

Oh, now she's sorry.

I walked in a sluggish pace that I even arrived to school later than usual. I remember exactly 24 hours ago, I was still expressing my hatred towards Tadase, but now, my feelings changed, as if my heart had made an incredible transform.

It was English, one of my favorite subjects with my favorite teacher, Mr. Kuyjou.

"Well, There you are, Hinamori Amu!" he said in a cheerful tone.

"Hi" I moaned. Many of my classmates then realized something was definitely up with me.

What did I hear?

Rumors, Rumors, Rumors!

"Oh my god!" some girl whispered loudly "Amu Sawyer is IN love. How rare"

Or it could be…

"There's a Sad Amu San! Her boyfriend Tadase Hotori has Lung Cancer. I bet she's gone all gloomy about that…"

Gossip, Gossip, Gossip!

"Ok, Class" the teacher started the lesson "Turn to your green textbooks page 117 and read the "Romeo and Juliet" story. Do Questions 1-16 and then turn to the next page and do………."

I didn't bother pay attention to Mr. Kuyjou anymore. Soon, I discovered an excruciating pain in the left part of my chest.

Then, everything went blank.

It took me a very long time to realize where I was now. The room was quiet unlike the classroom and I barely heard muttering. My head was facing the ceiling.

"Hello" I don't know who the muttering people were, but I want know what happened.

"Oh…Amu…" I heard footsteps approaching my bedside.

That voice was so well-known to me. But whose does it belong to?

"Oh… Amu Chan! I was so worried about you… You almost died!"

Mom.

What? I almost died? How?

"Continue." I still didn't look up.

"Good lord… Your heart... It……" I practically heard this person smack her mouth.

"What happened to my heart?"

"It….s-sto-op-ped…….." she was definitely crying now.

"It stopped beating" I continued and sat up to look at her.

She nodded frantically.

"So, what you wanted to say was that my heart stopped beating?"

She nodded again.

"How long did it stop beating?"

"I d-don't know, dear… But the doctor managed to save your life in time"

"Where's Tadase Kun?" I interrupted "He should be in this hospital too"

"You are too vulnerable to leave your bed! Don't ask anymore questions"

"Vulnerable?" I fought "My heart is beating again. No worries, mom"

"Don't worry, Mrs. Hinamori" suddenly a young woman came and placed her hand on my shoulder. It was the teacher that let me go home early!

"What do you mean by "Don't worry?"" my mother looked at the teacher with a disgusted expression.

The teacher was speechless. I could tell that my mother was one of her fears.

"Mom, it is just a visit and Tadase is just a few rooms away!"

"Amu, let me tell you something" Mom backed away a few steps "You swore that you would never forgive Hotori Tadase ever again. So why are you visiting him now. He ruined your happiness!"

Of all the explanations in the world… Why this one?

"Yes, I know I once hated him. But don't you understand that I could change? Nobody is perfect, mom. People make mistakes and they need others to forgive them. That's how we learn!"

"Mrs. Hinamori, please give Amu a chance!" The teacher said.

"This witch has changed you!" My mother went berserk and showed her complete hatred towards the lady. "Do what you want. Never dream to see me again!"

The door of my hospital room slammed shut.

Tears were blinding my eyes. I don't know what to do.

"Amu Chan… To say the truth, I think your mother was wrong" the teacher explained.

I nodded softly in agreement.

"Um… Miss…um… Forget it."

"My name is Ms. Yuiki"

"Ms. Yuiki, may I please have some time alone?"

"Ok"


	2. The Ugly Truth

Hey Guys!

I hope you enjoyed my fan fictions.

Don't forget to review/favorite/alert!

Love you!

Vanz

(Amu's Point of View)

My surroundings were pure white, as if I were in heaven. The room was cold and the atmosphere smelt like Air planes. I sighed. Thoughts danced inside my head and my heart was beating like a drum.

"Never dream to see me again!"

That was from mother. It hurt me from inside out. I clutched my chest as it was drenched in pain. I couldn't do anything to master the past now. It's impossible.

My eyes drifted to sleep. It was better than depressing myself.

(Tadase's Point of View)

Gradually, my eyes slit open. I was in a room with nothing but white. Tubes were sticking out of my arms and waist as I was also accompanied by an oxygen mask.

The doctor walked into my room and was surprised to see me awake.

"Good Afternoon, Mr. Hotori" He said cheerily. "Nice to see you awake. I'm Doctor Mashiro"

"Hi" I forced an invisible smile as vaporized carbon dioxide was appearing and disappearing on the surface of my oxygen mask. "What happened to me?"

Mr. Mashiro paused for a while, took a deep breath and started "Mr. Tadase, your lung lost its function and I was afraid you wouldn't have survived that. But since technology has improved, your survival rate increased up to 20%!"

I smiled slightly but took it back almost instantly. There was hope on the way.

"A little bit of Romance would be fine; Hotori, but that bit of Romance almost killed you!"

I steered and said unclearly due to the mask "What do you mean, Doctor Mashiro?"

He replied, but with a little embarrassment "A teacher at your school said that you lost your breath because you were kissing"

He watched me turn bright red, but patted me on the shoulders in an encouraging manner.

"Don't be afraid to express your love, my son. Nothing can replace a warm kiss" The man grinned at me. "But……"

I said desperately "But what?"

Mr. Mashiro's golden eyes looked into mine seriously. "I'm sorry to say this, Tadase, but you should really stop kissing. Your life would be in danger if you hold your breath while kissing!"

My heart was racing. My face was burning. My chest was hurting. How could he say such a thing to me?

"Doctor Mashiro" I said icily without looking at him. "Are you married?"

"Yes, I am" He managed not to catch my eye too.

"So," I started. "What would it feel like if I didn't let you kiss your Wife forever?"

"I understand what you are feeling right now, Mr. Hotori. I totally understand. I… didn't want to say that to hurt you, b-but it's only for the goodness of your health!" Tears were fluttering in his eyes like butterflies. "Sorry!"

"It's OK. I'll try not to, since I will die if I kiss" I held my tears. "You may go now"

The doctor departed. I'm left alone.

(No One's Point of View)

In the lonely hospital in the middle of nowhere, the two lovers stay awake and stare at the stunning twilight as the city began to light up. But what they don't realize is that their rooms were next to each other.

The hurdles of life were already set for the boy and the girl. With their hands tightly grasping each other, any hurdle would be jumpable.

(Amu's Mother's Point of View)

Ah, what a beautiful sun set! The last time I ever had a chance to see one like this was the day my first child, Amu was born. Everything seems perfect on the day your first child was born.

The autumn's breeze made my hair fly. I felt young for the first time in years.

I believe that beauty could not last for eternity. Life is full of happiness, full of challenges and also… full of hope. These things affect the beautiful soul inside us.

As my feet paced home, I suddenly remembered something I did that I would never forget.

"Never dream to see me again!" I shouted at Amu.

How, in burning hell can I say that to my own daughter? What kind of mother am I?

If I were Amu, I would never forgive a mother who would say such things to her daughter.

My house was now in front of myself. I carefully unlocked the door and found my unfinished family step up and greet me.

"Mama" Ami smiled her cute smile as she showed me a drawing.

"Honey" My husband came to me and gave me a tight embrace. Unpredictably, I cried into his shoulders.

"What's the mwatter?" Ami came up and hugged my feet. That only makes me cry harder.

"Papa," I push my husband back a little to face him. "I'm really sorry "

He placed his hands on my shoulders and said "What's the matter, Honey? Please tell me"

My face turned to a childhood photo of Amu. I trembled as I pointed at it. "Amu" I said.

Everyone looked at the photo. "Sistaa?" Ami asked.

I kept my face down. My mind told me to spit out the ugly truth. "Amu's heart failed because she was experiencing too much pressure. She's now at the hospital"

Papa looked utterly shocked. Ami didn't seem to understand anything. I exhaled softly.

"We're going to the hospital. Now" My husband's nerves suddenly tightened. That was a rare sight.

"No, we're not" I fought back. "I just visited her. I don't think she wants more visitors today"

It took my husband and me some time to sort things out. In conclusion, we decided on visiting Amu tomorrow.

(Amu's Point of View)

My eyes flew open as I've just experienced a terrible nightmare. I choked on oxygen for a while before going back to normal.

I wondered how Tadase's doing now. He might be doing an operation, be in a comatose or even stay awake like I am right now.

It was almost the dead of night but the lights in my room were still on. The full moon was flawless.

Abruptly, a man in white stepped inside. He greeted me and named himself Doctor Mashiro.

"Missing him very much, huh?" He treated this as a joke. I frowned.

"Yes" I admitted. "Where is he?"

"Surprise, Surprise. I'll tell you tomorrow. Let me check your health, Ms. Hinamori" He said.

Since he would tell me where Tadase was tomorrow, shouldn't I feel excited?

But that gush of glory never hit every single artery inside me. No matter what, I still waited for the arrival of tomorrow.

There'll be more in Chapter 3.

Hope you liked my story.

=)


	3. Cry

Hi!

This is going to be chapter 3 of the "Let go and Leave" story!  
Thanks for enjoying. PLEASE REVIEW.

(No One's Point of View)

The sun was rising at a snail's pace. But the hospital seemed to be eventful already.

Almost a dozen of white dressed men rushed around urgently. There seemed to be something wrong; something terribly wrong.

Amu woke up when the sun was high up already. She yawned and was shocked to see her parents in her room.

"Good morning, Amu Chan" Her mother reached for her icy hands and smiled tenderly.

Amu didn't catch her eye and nodded.

"How are you doing?" Mr. Hinamori made a start to talk.

"Fine" Amu suddenly heard shouts from doctors outside her room. "What happened outside?"

Mr. and Mrs. Hinamori looked at each other for a while. Then they decided to tell her. "A patient's breathing and heart rate suddenly stopped. That was exactly what happened to you, Amu Chan"

Amu sighed. She felt really sorry for that patient. A question then slipped in her mind like a card. "Who is that Patient?"

Mrs. Hinamori looked at her daughters from behind her spectacles and exhaled a little. "We can't tell you"

Amu's father continued the sentence. "Because we don't want you to be depressed over this"

The pinkette made a thought. She knew exactly who they were talking about. Who else could that person be?

_Tadase…_

Amu held her tears by gritting her teeth until her gums were sore. After that, she couldn't control herself. Amu made a sprint out of the room, leaving her parents half dazed after she slammed the door shut.

(Amu's Point of View)

What is the definition of death? I really don't know. I just know that Death is an event between your life in Earth and your life in Heaven/Hell.

Like my hospital room, my surroundings were white. I paced around the never-ending corridor. There was a room with a double-sided door in the end of the corridor. Inside that room was Tadase, the Tadase fighting for life.

"Ms. Hinamori?" A familiar voice took over. "What are you doing here?"

"Waiting" I don't let liquid drop out of my eyes. "Doctor Mashiro, Is Tadase going to live?"

The doctor grinned. "He would"

My eyes and face went wet. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah…" He repeated in the same tone. "I'm sure he will". Doctor Mashiro left.

"Thanks…" My voice trailed off as I watched the man step inside the double sided room.

I walked over to the room where Tadase was. I placed my ears on the doors to hear annoying beeps. It was Tadase's lifeline.

Then... the clicks of the beep turned into a flat everlasting, note.

Is Tadase…?!

My legs felt numb and collapsed on the stone cold floor. I couldn't hold that pain anymore. Just got to let it out…

Soundtrack:

Cry- Kelly Clarkson

If anyone asks,  
I'll tell them we both just moved on  
When people all stare  
I'll pretend that I don't hear them talk  
Whenever I see you,  
I'll swallow my pride  
and bite my tongue  
Pretend I'm okay with it all  
Act like there's nothing wrong

Is it over yet?  
Can I open my eyes?  
Is this as hard as it gets?  
Is this what it feels like to really cry?  
Cry

If anyone asks,  
I'll tell them we just grew apart  
Yeah what do I care  
If they believe me or not  
Whenever I feel  
Your memory is breaking my heart  
I'll pretend I'm okay with it all  
Act like there's nothing wrong

Is it over yet?  
Can I open my eyes?  
Is this as hard as it gets?  
Is this what it feels like to really cry?  
Cry

I'm talking in circles  
I'm lying, they know it  
Why won't this just all go away

Is it over yet?  
Can I open my eyes?  
Is this as hard as it gets?  
Is this what it feels like to really cry?  
Cry  
Cry

End of Soundtrack

Unexpectedly, the double doors slam open and two doctors rushed the unconscious bed out of the emergency room. I let out a sigh of relief and wiped my face with a handkerchief.

"Is he alive?" I asked one of the surgeons, who were moving quickly since they were pushing the bed to the resting room.

The surgeon didn't seem to hear me. I sulked heavily.

I felt both negative and positive at the same time. I told myself to await the news…

Seriously, Is he alive…….?

TO BE CONTINUED.

PS. I need 5 reviews for this Chapter before I continue. Sorry but yeah.


	4. Fairytale

Hey guys,

Chapter 4… Here we go again.

(Amu's Point of View)

The beauty of the sky above me was wonderful, whilst everything down at earth was dreadful. I sighed painfully as I await the news.

It has been days, actually. The burden had been inside me for long enough. I waited long enough to explode into a million pieces. Many events happened in these few, everlasting days.

After realizing that I had no body problem, Doctor Mashiro insisted me to go home and rest. Obviously in the beginning, I rejected the offer. But after numerous persuasions from my parents, I reluctantly went home.

But it's so long already. Why wouldn't they tell me if Tadase's alive or not? Is it because the adults over worry about my mood? Is it seriously such a huge surprise? I sat on my bedroom floor, praying to God. Could he really help Tadase?

Abruptly, mother stepped inside my bedroom with a concerned expression. "Amu, come downstairs and eat your lunch."

I avoided her gaze and murmured. "No thanks. I'm not hungry"

"Are you sure? We have your favorite dish: Miso Ramen!"

I grinned slightly as the sight of delicious food filled my mind. "No. I'm not eating"

"Alright" My mother said. "But tell me when you're feeling hungry"

Mom walked downstairs. I felt guilty because I didn't join my family for dinner. And it was Ami's birthday today.

Suddenly, a miracle was born in front of my eyes.

(Tadase's Point of View)

Where am I? Heaven…?

"_No you're not, Tadase"_

_I'm not dead._

It was as if everything was a dream; like every part of you is an imagination. Well, too bad it's not.

I slowly drift off sleep. The walls were the same colour as the emergency room: White. I soon became conscious that I wasn't the only one being a patient in the room this time…

The patient was breathing unsteady breaths and her life seemed to be far away from her body. I bared a cheerless tear. She was so weak and so frail that you couldn't use any word to explain it.

As I scratched my head, I was soon to understand that it was completely bald; not even one single sign of hair was taking over it.

Would Amu tease me as "Ugly"? Would she not recognize me?

As questions began to motion in my mind, a stranger stepped inside our room. He greeted me as he saw me awake and headed for the bed of the unconscious girl.

The boy stroked the girl's face tenderly. I could tell he wanted to cry an ocean for her to wake up… but it's just impossible.

"Oh, Reiko" The boy sobbed by her bed. "Why did fate do such horrid things to you?"

Reiko only breathed under the oxygen mask with eyes closed.

There were tears overflowing my eyes and my sight became blurry. The boy saw me crying and handed me tissue.

"You want to hear a song?" He asked me as he held an I-pod in his hands. I only nodded. "By the way, my name's Tora"

Tora passed me his I-pod and selected a song called "Fairytale- Michael Wong"

I listened to the song with both earphones on and almost instantly, I was in love with it. The melody… It just made me want to cry…

When the song finished playing, I handed the I-pod back to Tora.

"What's your name?" He smiled at me.

"Tadase" I said weakly.

"That was a very inspiring song, right?" Tora looked out the window. "It's about two lovers struggling from the hurdles of life. At the end of the song, the girl dies because she got really sick. I just can't stop listening to it… because it kind of represents me and Reiko!"

I remained speechless for a while. I just didn't know how to respond to Tora.

"Tadase, do you have a lover?" Tora turned to me.

I grinned as the picture of Amu appeared in my mind. "Yes, I do. She is very beautiful, just like an indulging rose"

"What's her name?"

"Hinamori Amu" I smiled and changed the topic. "Anyways, what happened to Reiko that made her come to hospital?"

I blushed in furiousness as I realized I've just asked Tora the wrong thing at the wrong time.

"Oh" Tora faced down as he came and sat by my bed. "When I was very young, Reiko and I were very good friends but when she turned 7, she had brain damage from a glass disk breaking the side of her skull. The doctors said that it was bleeding too much and there was no cure. But to say the truth, I was already in love with her when I was 6" Tora chuckled. "Reiko never woke up for 7 years"

"That's just too sad" I sighed.

Tora placed his hands on my shoulders. "Tadase, you've got to live for your girlfriend. She needs you the way like I need Reiko"

The boy then headed out the door. "I've got to go now, Tadase. Hope to see you soon!" Tora disappeared before I even had the chance to say goodbye.

The tune of "Fairytale- Michael Wong" played addictively in my head. I couldn't wait to listen to it again.

(Amu's Point of View)

Ikuto jumped inside my room from a tree. "Yo"

I glared daggers at him. Why of all times of life, does he have to visit me now? "Hi"

"Don't you want to go there?" Ikuto asked casually.

"Go where?" I jumped up from my bedroom floor.

"Hospital, idiot" The boy cackled.

I brightened up. "How, though?"

"Hop on, Amu. We'll be there in no time"

I hopped on Ikuto's back and we were jumping from tree to tree. The day's breeze was really comforting as I relaxed on Ikuto.

TO BE CONTINUED

Please Review. 8 for this Chapter!

Hope you like it!

By the way, you guys have to listen to the song "Fairytale-Michael Wong" OR "Tong Hua- Guang Liang". Both are the same. XD

It's awesome even though it's Chinese. I just LOVE it!

Vannie


	5. Smile

Hey Guys,

This is going to be Chapter 5 of the story of "Let Go and Leave"

Thanks for reading. PLEASE review!!

Vannie

(Tadase's Point of View)

They took me in there again. Last night, I was fine. But when I started coughing wildly, the doctors sent me into the emergency room again.

I lay there, in a solitary hospital bed with an enormous oxygen mask on. Doctor Mashiro bent down till he could face me properly.

Then I felt the pain in my arms. It poked under my skin.

I was then in my own, unknown world.

(Amu's Point of View)

Ikuto sent me to the main entrance of the hospital.

"Ikuto" I said as he let my feet touch the ground. "Thanks very much"

Ikuto grinned slightly and vanished almost immediately. I inhaled deeply and took steps towards the building.

The lift ride up was unforgettable. I saw young children with severe diseases and cancers together with their parents. One parent told me that their child's life was very limited and only had a few more weeks living. I felt beyond awful and handed candies to all the sick children inside the lift. They thanked me and a disabled boy hugged me. As I got out of the lift, I walked over to the receptionist and asked for the room of Hotori Tadase.

"Hotori Tadase...hm… Please wait a moment" The nurse flicked through her folder of the names of patients and their room numbers.

Whilst waiting, I paced around the hospital. I walked towards a notice board, and saw pictures of happy patients in their toughest times. I smiled.

Life could be difficult sometimes. But a smile is never an excuse.

"Excuse me, Miss!" The nurse by the reception called me. "We're sorry to inform you this but Hotori Tadase is not in his room and is doing a major operation. If you want, you can wait"

Oh no. Not now. I had millions of things to ask him.

"When would this operation end?" I panicked.

"Who knows?" The nurse said coldly.

I sat in a seat in the corner of a corridor. It was the corridor I cried in when Tadase was doing his first operation. The emergency room had a red light on. When the light goes off, it meant that the operation was over.

(4 Hours Later)

The red light went off. I drifted away from my sleep. Suddenly, Doctor Mashiro walked towards me.

"Hi, there" He faked a grin to cheer me up. "Do you want to come in?"

I nodded and the Doctor led me into the emergency room to see a lifeless Tadase. It was a lifeless bald Tadase.

My heart was now stitched up and the pain was excruciating. I reached out and stroked Tadase's white face. His whole self was so cold, so feeble.

"Would he ever wake up?" I held my tears while facing Doctor Mashiro. Unlike last time, he wasn't too certain about my question.

"Would he?" I said louder and made the Doctor jump slightly.

"Ms. Hinamori, we are trying our best to make Hotori survive" He said in a floppy tone.

"Thanks…" My voice was only a little bit more than a tiny whisper.

"But" Doctor Mashiro suddenly went confident. "Don't forget about hope. Hope may be something very small and invisible, but when you really need it, it comes"

I smiled and sat down next to Tadase; waiting for him to realize…. How much I really love him.

(Tadase's Point of View)

Do you know how I seriously wanted to tell Amu the truth? Yeah, the truth that would make her understand everything that possibly happened.

I know that I'm a useless boy. I couldn't even protect myself. Could I protect Amu?

(Tadase's Dream)

I was watching.

There was no doubt he and she were having an excellent time. They laughed, screamed and hugged each other. What more could the girl deserve?

Suddenly, the dark haired cat-like boy leaned closer towards the pink haired girl; his mouth taste good with peppermint as he breathed on her. The girl chuckled and kissed the boy. The kiss represented deep love. When the boy pulled away for air, he bent down and reached for the girl's skirt and started unbuttoning it. The excellent time was over. She screamed.

I screamed too.

(End of Tadase's Dream)

I screamed so loud my eyes shot open. I took in much uneasy breaths as the oxygen mask was creating massive discomfort.

Amu reached for my face and stroked it. Her face was pale white and her eyes were stinging from the tears she cried.

It was the tears she cried for me.

I stroked her hands. It was not the smooth hands anymore, but the stressful ones. I looked at her. She looked beautiful and seemed taller.

"Hello, Tadase" Amu said and smiled.

"Amu…" I pulled her into my arms. "I have two things to tell you"

The girl nodded. She looked out the window and avoided my glance.

I started "The girl I kissed last time was called Aika. She was very pretty and smart. But Amu, I love you more than her. Aika is only a family relative"

She froze like a stone statue. Abruptly, tears like a river flow rush down her cheeks and down her unmoving self. "I'm so sorry…. I thought you loved Aika and didn't love me and I got angry."

I nodded. "The second thing I needed to tell you is…. The reason why I got Cancer"

Amu caught my glance. "I'm ready for the truth, Tadase"

I exhaled under the oxygen mask as my voice rang softly "Amu, I smoked"

The pinkette shook her head wildly "You didn't. Tadase won't smoke!"

I watched her hide her tears. "I'm sorry. I thought I would be losing you forever since you didn't want to see me, talk to me or kiss me. I was in so much stress and pressure that I decided to have a go at a cigarette. But the funny thing is, I never thought one single cigarette almost took away my life"

Amu held me into her arms and cried into my hospital clothes. I couldn't bear seeing her cry too, my tears dripped down.

I broke the crying silence "Do you know a song called Fairytale?"

She nodded and selected that song on her cell phone. "It's such a lovely song" The song travelled in the room like air.

"Kiss me" I said as Amu took off my oxygen mask and her lips found mine.

(Music Playing in the Background: Fairytale)

_Fairytale- Michael Wong._

_  
(I forgot how long it has been  
Since the last time I heard you  
and told you your favorite story  
I thought about it for a long time  
And started to feel confused  
If once again it was my mistake  
(You told me, _

Amu's lips brushed mine. Its tenderness tickled me slightly. I then licked her lips as if it was addictive. She smiled, moved her mouth away and placed it on my head to start kissing it as her hands were placed on my chest. The moment felt like heaven, with no interruptions and speech.

Then I felt myself gasping for air and pushed Amu away. She looked at me, confused. I felt guilty and held her inside me. She was warm with gushing tears whilst I was cold and weak.

She knew I was going to die soon. The oxygen mask was only supporting my life. Now, with it off me, I felt frail as a tiny ant.

I believed that my relationship with Amu had been an everlasting Fairytale. It was a both horrid and wonderful Fairytale. It was different compared to other teenager's love stories. It was more intense, more depressing and more special.

_(Crying that all fairytales are a lie  
and I can't be your prince.  
But you don't understand  
that since you told me you loved me  
All the stars in my sky were shining brightly  
I hope I'll change this fairytale  
for your love for that angel  
Extending my arms,  
turning them into wings to protect you  
You have to believe  
We can be in fairytales  
With happiness and joy  
We can write our own happy ending together)_

Amu laid me in bed. She whispered silently "I love you"

It was a simple, yet meaningful phrase. I looked at her, and fought it out "I love you too".

My eyes gradually closed and the doors of Heaven welcomed me in.

I hoped to see Amu with me. Perhaps that would happen several decades later.

_We can write our own happy ending together…_

(Amu's Point of View)

Tadase's lifeline went flat. But unlike last time, it stayed flat. I paced out of the room and never looked back.

Life is so delicate; just like flower petals. If you stepped on tiny butterfly wings, you wouldn't realize that you've just killed an extraordinary insect.

I walked home. When I arrived, I went inside my room and got out a photo of Tadase.

(Amu singing Vanilla Twilight- Owl City)

_The stars lean down to kiss you  
And I lie awake and miss you  
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere_

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly  
But I'll miss your arms around me  
I'd send a postcard to you, dear  
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue  
But it's not the same without you  
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad  
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad  
'Cause the spaces between my fingers  
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways  
Though I haven't slept in two days  
'Cause cold nostalgia  
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight  
I'll sit on the front porch all night  
Waist-deep in thought because  
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink  
I'll think of you tonight  
I'll think of you tonight

_(Change of Key)_

When violet eyes get brighter  
And heavy wings grow lighter  
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew  
But I swear I won't forget you  
Oh, if my voice could reach  
Back through the past  
I'd whisper in your ear  
Oh darling, I wish you were here

Oh darling I wish you were here…

Hey Guys,

Hope you like my story. I know it's REALLY low on hits, but I still hope you enjoyed it.

THE END!!

PLEASE REVIEW!

THANKS FOR READING!


	6. Our Eternity

Hey Guys,

This is my extra chapter in the story "Let Go and Leave"

This chapter would be dedicated to….. Hitomi Katez.

Chapter 6 (Extra)

(Amu's Point of View)

There was a church right next to the Graveyard. It was a big day today. I was getting married. Yes, I am going to tie the knot. Abruptly, my mother called for me. She told me to get dressed in my beautiful wedding dress. I slowly made my way inside the dressing room and sat down.

I looked at my own reflection in the mirror and exhaled. I looked at myself and thought about him. Would he ever congratulate me? Would he appear to me and say that he loved me? If he appeared in front of me, would this day not exist?

"Hurry, Amu!" Mother was rushing around and getting my makeup ready. I have to admit that she did this terribly as she rubbed few smudges of power on my face using the brush.

"Thanks, Mom." I smiled at her. She was surely trying hard to make me look great today.

"Hush! You've got to get changed!" She scrambled through the closet of dresses and took out a one that was pure white with many ribbons attached to it. I wore it swiftly and checked if the dress fitted me perfectly. It did. "Oh, Amu, you look…. Wonderful…" I could tell she wanted to cry. I patted her shoulders and looked her in the eyes.

"Thank you so much, Mama. You're the _best_ mother anyone could get." I wiped the tears in my eyes and hugged my mother securely around me.

My mother used a handkerchief to wipe away the liquid from her eyes. She then looked serious. "Go. Kairi would be waiting for you." Kairi was my Fiancé. Ten minutes later, we'll be husband and wife. "Bye, darling. Good luck!"

"Bye…" I waved and headed towards the front door of the Church. Father was waiting for me there in a tuxedo. We eyed each other and he took me by the arms. My heart started pounding as the double doors gradually opened.

"You're a big girl now. Getting married, eh?" My father chuckled as we walked down the aisle very slowly. I wanted to treasure the time still being un-married.

When we were there, I noticed that Kairi was nervous too. We smiled at each other whist my father let go of our arms. I let go reluctantly and another pair of hands were being replaced. The priest spoke. I hardly even bothered listening to what he was telling us. Then, Kairi's grip on my hand tightened when the priest said the last set of words.

"Mr. Sanjo Kairi," he started on him first. "Wilt thou have this Woman to thy wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honor, and keep her in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?"

Kairi answered without hesitation. "I will."

The priest said the same to me. It took me a long time to answer. Obviously, I said yes. After that, we had an everlasting kiss. We were officially married.

Many visitors greeted us and congratulated Kairi and I as we made our way out of the Church. "Kairi," I murmured. "I need to go somewhere."

"Honey, where?" Kairi pushed. I kept my face down. I didn't want to tell him.

"The graveyard," My face was low and my voice was deep.

"I'll come with you, Amu." Kairi held my waist and we made our way towards the Graveyard that was a couple of tennis courts away. "Why do you have to go to the Graveyard?" My snow white dress was getting dirty against the dirty muddy floor. I ignored Kairi and continued walking.

Ten minutes later, we arrived. I inhaled deeply and looked for his grave. I remembered the exact one. I paced towards it and knelt down. Kairi eyed the grave suspiciously. "This is my friend. He's called Tadase." Naturally, I told him. "He's a great friend. Died when he was thirteen."

Kairi gritted his teeth and pulled me towards him roughly. He glared at me. "Is this the thing you've always been thinking of? Amu, you're _always_ distracted. Now, I've realized it's by someone who's dead!"

I pushed Kairi aside gently and placed a rose on the stone. "He's not any old someone, Kairi. He's special. He's different and he died because of _me."_

My husband yanked me up once again and pushed his lips on mine. It felt good but it was nothing compared to the one I had when I was thirteen. "Amu, I'm yours. Tadase is dead."

Something berserk jumped out of my mind. "Then I shall die with him."

"You're _so_ reckless." Kairi took this as a joke and laughed. "Forget him!" I couldn't believe what my husband did next.

He kicked the grave hard and unexpectedly, bits of rocks started to slide off. I screamed for help and tried dragging Kairi off Tadase's gravestone, but the man was too strong. As I cried and cried more, Kairi kicked the stone even harder. I didn't know what to do. I certainly didn't say the wrong thing. For half an hour of non-stop kicking, Tadase's gravestone was more rock-less than the ones around it. Kairi gave me a disgusted look and threw his wedding ring on the muddy ground. I cried even harder as he left.

"Oh, Tadase," I wiped the tears off with my filthy wedding dress. "What should I do now?"

To my surprise, a voice responded. "Come to me." That moment, I was completely sure that voice belonged to Tadase.

How?

"Sleep, then I shall bring you to me." Then the voice faded away. I obediently lay down beside the broken gravestone. My eyes drifted to sleep. That was when a thunderstorm started. Rain soaked my clothes and me, but I couldn't exactly feel that cold water land on me.

"Amu," A warm voice filled my heart and mind. "Welcome."

To my surprise, I turned round quickly to see Tadase smiling at me. I was definitely dreaming. "Tadase…!"I was delighted that I would spend this eternity with Tadase. "But… Did I really…. Die from that world?"

"Yes."

"Oh." I took him into my arms.

"But, we're immortals in Heaven now!" Tadase cheered up and led me into a secret garden. It was stunning. There was no sadness, killing, blood or death in this world. Everything was peaceful and happy. That was all I was asking for.

"Tadase, I love you."

"I love you too."

And this was my eternity.

THE ULTIMATE END!


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